


you never know

by natashassidebitch



Series: nat fics inspired by lyrics [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Alcohol, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mentioned BLACKPINK, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha deserves better, Natasha is sad, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Posted on Wattpad as well, Red Room (Marvel), Song Lyrics, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, a lot of crying, blackpink prompt used, i wrote this instead of doing my work, im so sorry, this is really bad im sorry, you never know by blackpink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26833324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natashassidebitch/pseuds/natashassidebitch
Summary: a short angsty natasha romanov-centric fic inspired by the chorus to you never know by blackpink. this has a happyish ending i promise.prompt:but you'll never know unless you walk in my shoеsyou'll never know, my tangled strings'cause everybody sees what they wanna seeit's easier to judge me than to believethe old thoughts i hid deeplysometimes grabbing me and tormenting methe more i do, i'ma shine, babyyou know they ain't got a shot on me
Series: nat fics inspired by lyrics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957318
Kudos: 13





	you never know

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ao3 story and my first time writing something inspired by song lyrics- don't yell at me haha

_but you'll never know unless you walk in my shoes_

every one of her muscles ached and screamed at her to stop as she danced for the 6th hour. she could feel the blood rubbing uncomfortably in the bottoms of her ballet shoes.  
she didn’t stop dancing, couldn’t stop dancing, madame was watching her every move. she had to go on, if she didn’t, she’d end up like the others; the very thought of that sent a shiver down her spine.

_you'll never know, my tangled strings at times like this_

it was as if natalia wasn’t in control of her own body. somebody else was behind her movements, her speech and even her thoughts. this feeling never went away. no matter how many years ago she had left the red room behind, it’d haunt her every night.  
clint would look at her in worry as she asked for permission to do the slightest thing, or as she flinches when you turn your head too quickly towards her. she’d never tell him why, whether it was out of pride or fear.

_'cause everybody sees what they wanna see_

a killer. a murderer. a whore. a bitch. too fat. too skinny. it shouldn’t bother natasha, being called that every day. they’re only words, right? they wouldn’t affect a spy of her level anyway, right? those ‘words’ were part of the reason she sat at her window all night, attempting to drown her thoughts away with vodka.

_it's easier to judge me than to believe_

once all of shields files had been released to the world, people still found a reason to be mad at natasha for who she was. they didn’t want to believe, i mean who would. it’s crazy enough that a russian spy organisation had kidnapped her along with 27 other girls just to make them fight to the death for a title over the years; then the winner to save the world.  
“she probably fucked her way to being an avenger,”  
“she’s a murderer, she doesn’t deserve to be an avenger,”  
“i don’t want a killer protecting the earth,”

_the old thoughts i hid deeply_

one pat on the shoulder, a sad smile along with “everything’s gonna be okay,” was something she least expected to come from tony starks mouth. “i hope so,” she had replied.  
she thought of his words everytime she went to pick up her vodka after a nightmare, each time drinking less and less.  
as time went on, the bottle remained untouched, and tony and told her how proud he was.  
maybe everything would be okay, she thought to herself.

_sometimes grabbing me and tormenting me_

the nightmares never stopped, and they probably never would. natasha was reminded every time she awoke with a scream. boy was she glad she had a soundproof room.  
each panicked breath sent a shudder down her spine, and it took everything she had to keep herself focused on reality. the tears wouldn’t stop coming, leaving her hair sticking to her cheeks as she curled in a ball and sobbed.  
“everything’s gonna be okay,” she chanted in her mind.  
she hoped it was true.

_the more i do, i'ma shine, baby_

everyone had noticed a massive change in natasha in the past year. the smiles she had once faked were genuine, her laugh became louder and she wasn’t spending her time alone anymore.  
tony and her exchanged looks and he gave her a nod. for once, someone was proud of her. for once, she was proud of herself.

_you know they ain't got a shot on me_

**Author's Note:**

> if you want to yell at me or be moots with me on twt my @ is @natashasfiance, i'm a kpop & mcu stan account haha


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